i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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