I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
