woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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