This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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