i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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