Welp...herpes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He passed out mid-signature
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize