you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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