How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
