Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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