you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
