all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
