Got a toothbrush?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
