you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize