I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
