He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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