I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
