I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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