This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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