R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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