I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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