the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
