The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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