And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
