She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
