We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
