So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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