the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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