FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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