My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
