how can u be prego again
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
