so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
