she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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