im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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