how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
