Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
