If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it glows. i had to have it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
