And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know her cup size but not her name....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
