He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
