You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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