He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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