This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
