Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
