He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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