I just saw a hot homeless man
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
