tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize