Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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