is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
