hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
