I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
