sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
