wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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