How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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