i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it's like heaven, but drunker
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
