bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
