Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
