If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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