Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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