I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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