so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
