Dude my mom stole all your condoms
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize