New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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