My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
