lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
