he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I understand Curling. That high.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
