Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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